


Growing Boys and  Growing Pains

by Tinywriterfairy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Polyamory, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:06:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinywriterfairy/pseuds/Tinywriterfairy
Summary: "Injunnie and I will be waiting for you at the station. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”Jisung swallowed. “Yeah, I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend, hyung.” He hoped his voice came out as dry as planned, not despairing. It wasn’t like he’d ever had a chance with Jaemin anyway.Jisung has never thought his crush on Jaemin would go anywhere, even if he is coming to join Jaemin at his university. Jaemin's dating Renjun, anyway. Only, what's Jisung going to do when Renjun turns out to be very pretty and very, very nice?
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin/Park Jisung, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49
Collections: NCT OT3 Mood Board Fic Fest





	Growing Boys and  Growing Pains

**Author's Note:**

> Finally it's here!! Life kind of hit me in the face while I was trying to finish this ;-; so I'm only posting the first chapter right now, but I have the others set up; they'll go up as I edit them. Thank you to Lee, who once again helped give me a plot bunny I just had to write, to my lovely beta as always, and to Val for reading this over for me.
> 
> The first chapter title is my word for obscure sorrows that inspired this fic; Pâro: _n._ the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—that any attempt to make your way comfortably through the world will only end up crossing some invisible taboo—as if there’s some obvious way forward that everybody else can see but you, each of them leaning back in their chair and calling out helpfully, _colder, colder, colder._
> 
> This was also inspired by moodboard #14 for NCTOT3 Moodboard Fest! Which I will link as soon as I get a post up for this work.
> 
> I hope you enjoy these lovely boys!

Jisung pulled away from packing sheets into his suitcase when the phone rang with Jaemin’s favorite tone. “Hey.” It was strange enough to look at his room, stripped of almost all his belongings and packed into boxes. He didn’t want to do it while talking to Jaemin. Jisung sat by the window; the backyard hadn’t changed, at least.

 _“Jisungie!”_ Jaemin sounded perky. He almost always sounded happy when they talked on the phone, but this was different. Was it because of him? _“Are you ready to come join me?”_

Jisung pushed away the warm, fuzzy feeling Jaemin’s voice always gave him. “Yeah, I’m packing now. The train leaves pretty early tomorrow, so I’m trying to finish tonight.”

_“That’s good, you can sleep later in the morning. Injunnie and I will be waiting for you at the station. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”_

Jisung swallowed. “Yeah, I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend, hyung.” He hoped his voice came out as dry as planned, not despairing. It wasn’t like he’d ever had a chance with Jaemin anyway.

Jaemin laughed. _“Sound a little excited, won’t you? My two favorite people are gonna meet each other. And I’m going to get to see you.”_ He could imagine the way Jaemin was probably wriggling on the other end of the phone. “ _I wanted to come back for summer, but the shop really needed me. It’s been too long, I miss you._ ”

“I miss you, too, hyung.” Jisung wedged the phone between his cheek and his shoulder so he could go back to packing. Aching wasn’t anything new, and he certainly wasn’t going to get anything done once Chenle came over. He shoved the sheets into place and reached into the pile of clothes on his bed. “We understood why you couldn’t come back. I’ll be there tomorrow anyway.”

 _“Yes.”_ Jaemin paused. Something crackled on the other end of the line. _“Are you nervous?”_

“What? Why would I be nervous?” Stupid question. Jisung started folding his pants into the suitcase. “It’s not like I’m going to be riding the train by myself to a place I’ve never lived where I only know two people or anything.”

Jaemin snorted. _“Okay, that’s fair. But one of the people you know is me, right? I’ll take good care of you, you’re my little Jisungie.”_ Jisung bit his lip. Would Jaemin ever be able to see him as anything other than his ‘little Jisungie?’ _“And Renjun will love you. Actually, everyone will love you, how could they not? My son is the best. You’re gonna be so popular and I’ll never get to see you.”_ Jaemin pretended to cry. _“You’ll still make time for me when you’re the big popular dancer on campus, right?”_

Jisung choked back a laugh. He couldn’t let Jaemin know that was in any way funny. “I think you’re overestimating my appeal, hyung.”

Jaemin gasped. _“I would never. You are amazing and you will be great here, don’t you dare doubt it.”_

Jisung sat on the bed. “Thanks.”

_“Are you going to get to see Chenle before tomorrow?”_

“Yeah, he’s coming over later. That’s why I’m packing now.” Jisung moved on to his shirts. Only a few items remained before what felt like his whole life was packed away. “We’re gonna hang out for the rest of the day before his train.”

_“Ahh, he’s leaving tonight?”_

“He didn’t want to get up early tomorrow.” Not to mention that his ride was in the exact opposite direction from Jisung’s. Neither of them had wanted to say goodbye at the station. Jisung picked up a pink shirt he’d borrowed from Jaemin ages ago and never returned.

_“Mm, that sounds like Chenle. I was going to call him after you, but maybe I’ll just stay on until he gets there and I can say goodbye to him too?”_

“Sure, if you want.” The shirt had stopped smelling like Jaemin after several washes, years before Jaemin had gone to college. Jisung buried his face in it anyway before he folded it up to go in the suitcase. “If you’re free that long, he should be here in an hour at the latest.”

_“That’s fine. I don’t have homework yet, and Renjun’s out with his friend so I’m free.”_

Right. Jisung had forgotten they lived together. “Alright then.”

 _“Aw, are you shy now?”_ It sounded like Jaemin stood up. _“You’re going to get to see me for a lot longer than an hour on the phone once you’re here. You’d better get used to it.”_

“I’m not _shy.”_ He _wasn’t_. It was just—how had he done this before Jaemin left? Jisung shoved the last of his shirts into the suitcase and zipped it shut. “Talking in person is better.” Even if it left him worrying about his face, at least he could judge Jaemin’s reactions. At least he could see Jaemin.

_“You know, I think that’s true. Talking in person is better. I can hug you!”_

“You mean strangle me?”

_“I think that’s more Renjun’s territory.”_

“What?”

 _“You’ll see!”_ The laughter was not reassuring. Jisung dragged his suitcase off his bed to join the others by the door. _“How are your parents? What have you and Chenle been up to? Tell me what I’ve been missing.”_

That, at least, he could manage. Jisung kept up a string of stories as he finished packing, school supplies, cooking utensils his mom insisted he would need, and miscellaneous items that hadn’t gone into one of the other suitcases. He startled out of telling Jaemin about the things his parents insisted he would need when Chenle barged in.

“Are you done packing yet?”

“Hello to you, too,” Jisung groused.

_“Is that Chenle?”_

“Yes.” Jisung wrinkled his nose at Chenle.

Chenle pointed at the phone and mouthed ‘Jaemin?’ Jisung nodded. Chenle frowned, then took the phone. He put it on speaker. “Hi, hyung.”

_“Chenle! How are you? Jisungie has been telling me everything I’ve missed.”_

“I’m good.” Chenle moved to sit on Jisung’s bed. Jisung took advantage of the moment to breathe. Chenle chattered away with Jaemin, retelling stories Jisung had told and adding his own exaggerations. Jaemin laughed along for the second time while Jisung cleaned up what remained of his room. When he circled back to the bed, Jaemin was wishing Chenle luck at school. Chenle thanked him and passed the phone back to Jisung.

“Did you wear Chenle out? That hasn’t happened in ages.”

_“I’m sure I didn’t, but I don’t want to take up all the time that’s supposed to be for you. Have fun, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

“Yeah. Thanks, hyung.”

_“Goodbye. I love you!”_

Chenle stared at him as though he knew what Jaemin had said; it probably wasn’t that hard to guess. Jisung closed his eyes. “I love you, too.” More than Jaemin would ever know, probably. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hung up.

“Are you okay?”

Jisung shrugged. He tossed his phone on the bed. “He’s been telling me that he loves me since I was three.”

Chenle poked him. “Yeah, but you weren’t trying to pretend not to be in love with him when you were three.”

He shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Chenle flopped back onto the bed. “I’m just worried about what’s going to happen if you keep trying to hide this from him.”

“He’s living with his boyfriend, Lele, do you think I’d have any chance?”

“I think you shouldn’t have to be in pain. It’s up to you, of course, but I don’t think you’re going to get over him in silence. You’ve tried that. If you don’t think you have a chance, consider telling him so you can get over it?”

Jisung flopped to the bed so he could hide his face. “I don’t know. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure.” Chenle smiled at him, warm and familiar, when he peeked up. He held up his laptop. “Want to watch something?”

“Yeah.”

If he ignored the packed suitcases and the weight at the back of his throat, it was almost like nothing had changed as they watched his favorite movies.

***

Renjun set down the book he was reading when Jaemin’s fidgeting knocked into it for the third time. “Are you sure you’re okay?” A crowd of people pushed past their bench as they swept off the latest train into Seoul's main station. Once they cleared out, another crowd climbed in before the train disappeared into the glare of early afternoon light.

“Me? What? I’m fine.”

“You’re vibrating.” He put a hand on Jaemin’s knee. “Are you sure this is your childhood friend we’re picking up and not one of your parents or something? There’s so much nervous energy.” He lowered his voice once the lessening crowd quieted the platform.

“I’m not nervous.” Jaemin kept bouncing his knee, gentler under Renjun’s hand. “I’m just excited. I haven’t seen Jisungie since last year. Plus, you’ve never met him.” He paused. “Okay, maybe I’m a little nervous.”

Ah. “Is it that you want us to get along?”

He shrugged. “Maybe? I’m not really sure.” Jaemin picked at a loose thread in his jeans. “I’m just … vibrating.”

Renjun checked the clock on the opposite wall, high enough not to be blocked by an incoming train. Jisung’s train should arrive soon. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He patted Jaemin’s knee until he calmed. “He sounds like a nice kid, from everything you’ve said. He sounds cute.”

Jaemin grinned. “He’s so cute, I can’t wait to see if he’s gotten taller.” That seemed to help. Renjun had heard the rant before, but he let Jaemin go on until he sat relaxed on the bench. Was that really all he was nervous about?

Before Renjun could ask, Jaemin turned toward the group climbing off the train. “Jisungie!” He waved vigorously, standing to make himself a better target. Renjun grabbed his book and stood. Jaemin seemed to be waving at a very tall boy pushing several suitcases with him. With blond hair sweeping a little past his ears, jeans and a hoodie that seemed to swallow him despite his large frame, and hunched shoulders, he really did look cute.

He perked up once he spotted Jaemin, waving and aiming his luggage toward them. Jaemin kept waving until Jisung had come close enough to grab. Renjun pulled the luggage safely away as Jaemin grabbed Jisung into a hug. They made a cute picture even if the “sweet little Jisungie” Jaemin always talked about was taller than his doting hyung. The sweet kid didn’t seem to appreciate the hug much, either. He stood quietly in Jaemin’s arms, listening to whatever Jaemin was whispering, but the little line between his brows didn’t look so good.

Renjun approached to tug at Jaemin’s sleeve. “Let the poor boy go, Nana, he needs to breathe.”

“I’m sorry for being happy.” Jaemin pouted, but pulled back. He set his hands on Jisung’s shoulders. “Look at you! I can’t believe you’re taller than me now.”

Jisung shrugged. “It’s just been a while since you were home, hyung.”

“Don’t remind me.” Jaemin turned them both toward Renjun. “Come meet Injunnie!”

Jisung gave a little wave, glancing down. Was he shy? How cute. Renjun smiled at him. “Hi. Jaemin already introduced me, and I’m sure he’s mentioned me before. I’m Huang Renjun. It’s very good to meet you, Jisung. Nana’s told me a lot about you.”

Jisung looked back up. Renjun kept smiling and hoped it helped. “It’s nice to meet you, too, hyung.”

Renjun waved. “Is this all your luggage? It doesn’t look like you’ve brought too much for a dorm room.”

Jisung shook his head. “This is just the essential stuff. My parents are coming to visit over the weekend; they’ll bring the rest with them then.”

“That’s good, you’ll have a little longer to get settled.” Renjun patted one of the suitcases. “Nana and I were thinking we could take you to your dorm to drop all this stuff off and then take you for a tour around campus?”

Jisung cocked his head. “I’ve been here before, though?”

“Not that kind of tour.” Jaemin slung an arm over Jisung’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here first.” At his urging, they started moving out of the station, each pulling a suitcase. “We want to show you the things they don’t tell you on a tour. The good places to eat, fun places to play, the better gym where you can practice if you want, that kind of thing.”

“Okay.” Jisung glanced at Renjun. When Renjun nodded, he tried a smile. “That sounds nice.”

Oh, he was just adorable. Renjun held back the urge to coo. Jisung probably wouldn’t appreciate it coming from a stranger. “I think you’ll like it. We’ll try not to wear you out too much.”

“I’m alright.” The yawn he let out right after didn’t reassure Renjun much. They wheeled the suitcases out to the car Jaemin had borrowed from Johnny and loaded everything in. Jisung tried to get in the backseat. Renjun had to nudge him into the passenger’s seat himself to make him go. Jaemin seemed amused by the whole thing, but he didn’t interfere, just waited in the driver’s seat for them to work it out.

After Renjun settled Jisung and got in the back himself, they set out. Renjun leaned in to peer at Jisung. “Nana tells me you dance?”

Jisung perked up a bit. He turned to the back. “Yes. I was on the dance team at my high school. We won a few competitions.”

“Are you hoping to get onto the team here?”

Jisung nodded. “I heard the auditions were soon.”

“You’ll do great.” Jaemin reached to tug on Jisung’s ear without looking away from the road. Jisung made a face. Were his ears sensitive? “Jisung is the best dancer, they’re gonna love him.”

“I’m sure.” Renjun tapped his fingers on his knee. Jisung still looked tired, so he didn’t want to ask for a demonstration. “Do you have any videos of your dances? I’d love to see, but I wouldn’t want to tire you out more.”

“Yeah, my parents recorded them.” Jisung dug out his phone. “I can show you if you want.”

“That would be great.” He took the phone, but paused the video before he could get sucked into it. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“What is it?” Jisung looked nervous.

“You said your parents are coming up later with your stuff. Is there a reason they didn’t come with you today?” Jaemin had never said anything about family trouble, but then, would he have?

“Oh.” Jisung shoved his hands into his pockets. “I wanted to try traveling by myself, since I’m going to be living here by myself. Better to rip the band-aid off.”

“That’s brave of you.”

Jisung shook his head. Were his ears red? He pushed play before Renjun could investigate further. Renjun was sucked into a series of dances from a boy who flowed like water. He didn’t want to look away.

***

Jisung tried not to drag his feet as he entered his dorm for the second time. He’d spent the whole day with Jaemin and Renjun after traveling early in the morning. Jaemin was just as Jisung remembered, and Renjun ….

Jisung closed the door behind him. His suitcases remained where he had left them, on the bed by the window, but a boy sat on the other. He looked like he’d be tall if he stood, with short dark hair. He sported a couple of hoop earrings in one ear and a black motorcycle jacket, but otherwise seemed like a normal student.

He waved when he saw Jisung come in. “Are you the elusive roommate? Hi, I’m Kim Samuel.”

Jisung nodded. “I’m Park Jisung.”

Samuel pointed at his suitcases. “You were in here earlier, right? I assumed you had dropped your stuff on the bed you wanted and left, but for all I know someone just wandered in and left all that.”

Jisung had to laugh, even if all he really wanted to do was sleep. “No, yeah, those are mine. My friends picked me up at the station this morning and they wanted to show me around campus so we just dropped everything off here.”

He nodded. “It was nice of them to pick you up.” Jisung concurred; maybe it was too nice of them. Samuel plucked at the new blue sheets spread over the bed. “I liked this side of the room anyway, so it works out.”

He’d certainly gotten to work. His desk was already stacked with notebooks, textbooks, and other supplies, with a poster of EXO on the wall above. A string of little lights was draped between the bedposts along the wall.

Jisung shuffled over to his own bed. “That’s good, then. I’ll probably unpack more tomorrow.”

Samuel made a sympathetic noise. “Did you tire yourself out touring the campus?”

Jisung shrugged. More like he had tired himself out trying not to spend the whole day staring at Jaemin. Renjun’s questions had helped with that, even if they made him nervous. He dragged his suitcases off the bed. Which one had he packed his sheets into? “My train left pretty early this morning, too.”

“Ahh. Where were you coming from?”

“Busan. You?”

Samuel kept up a steady stream of chatter as Jisung dug through his suitcases to find his sheets, nightclothes, and toiletries. Making the bed wasn’t too hard, even if he had to wrestle the fitted sheet on all by himself now. Jisung hesitated over Jaemin’s pink shirt. It was fine, right? Jaemin probably didn’t even remember it anymore, and he was still broader in the shoulder than Jisung. It was the right size for a sleep shirt.

Samuel didn’t say anything when Jisung came back from the bathroom in navy sleep pants and a pink shirt. Jisung waved goodnight and crawled into his newly-made bed. Safe under the covers, with the light out and his roommate close to sleep, he finally dared to peek at that afternoon.

He had known about Renjun almost since he and Jaemin started dating. Jisung could still taste the bitterness from that phone call, right after Jaemin’s first date. He had been so excited. Jisung curled his fists into the sheets. So he wasn’t surprised to find out that Renjun was just like Jaemin described him. What had surprised him was how pretty Renjun was. Prettier than Jaemin had raved about, if that was even possible.

They looked so good together. Jisung rolled onto his side. Of course Jaemin would pick someone like that, someone pretty and nice and helpful and mature, someone who could laugh at his silliness and calm him down and who hadn’t known him since they were three years old. It wasn’t surprising. Just a little sad. Jisung blinked away the tear that wanted to fall. He couldn’t have red eyes when he saw them tomorrow. Jaemin would ask too many questions and Jisung didn’t have it in him to lie that convincingly about being homesick. He grabbed at Jaemin’s shirt.

Maybe coming to Jaemin’s university had been a bad idea. But Jaemin had looked so happy to see him. It was done now, anyway. He buried his face in his pillow. It took a long time for him to fall asleep, surrounded by everything new.


End file.
